“I need a vacation or something because I feel like I am about to give up and I am fighting it.” – Me, in a text
“U need Dick” – Hubby In My Head, responds.


I wrote about him in blogs of past. We will call him Hubby In My Head. He is someone that I have crushed on since I first met him and now, almost four years later, we are still going strong as good friends. TOP, dark chocolate, and Spanish brotha and oh so DAMN sexy to me. He is definitely a nigga. Going out with him on a harmless get together felt so great. I sat so close to him as he did me. I slyly flirted with him and he coyly flirted with me. We wrote undercover texts to each other since we were with “The Straights”. He was scared to look in my eyes, but did anyway. I returned the favor with slight peeks. I wanted to touch him but due to the circumstances, I couldn’t. I did manage to squeeze his bicep in a low key fashion (I’m good trust). I made sure I sat next to him at all times. I poked him secretly on his butt cheek as we we walked up the stairs. He quickly put me in a playful headlock. AAAAAAH. It felt so euphoric.
But there was a slight issue…..

Yup. He already has a husband – and I was Lady GaGa (in that gif).
Friend calls out the blue.
Tells me he is coming through and he is bringing his cousin over.
Usually that means, “I maybe with someone cute so look presentable”
I was up and together in less than two seconds.
Not because we have to take the dick however it is offered.
Often times,
we are in the submissive role.
Or we sometimes go through the same Waiting 2 Exhale shit.
Some of that maybe true.
But, we deal with the same things they do.
While thanking our lucky stars we do not deal with periods.
I am like a female, but still a man.
And I will explain why,
without sounding like I was snorting coke tonight…